Dear Real Estate Dude or Dudette,
I’m asking for your permission to keep a dog at my residence. I really really love dogs! I’m a huge fan of The Dog Whisperer. Cesar Millan has a way with all the dogs. And every time I watch his show it pulls on my heart strings. I just have so much love to give. So why not have a dog – other people do.
I know you’re really keen on knowing which breed of dog I intend on getting. I spent 4 hours on Google – it was so hard to choose with so many cute breeds on the Trading Post, Pet Net and Just Dog Breeds. In the end I chose one from Cute-Breeds-Are -Us.
Temperament: Easy going, good sense of humor, loves to entertain on a Friday night, and worships Satan
Eats: Small children and Schmackos
Languages: Icelandic and Satanic
Bad Time: Cutie-Pie’s are unpredictable at night time.
Protection: Yes, you should definitely get life insurance and put a lock on the bedroom door
Appearance: Elegant, dainty, with a wide eyed innocent expression. (So there’s no pinning anything on this breed of dog)
Intelligence: Can read lips and recite every episode of The Simpsons
I understand you will require training papers. I have written to the CIA requesting all training papers ASAP. FYI – I have already bought the dog, so if you could just say “Yes” that would be great.