Thankyou so much for getting in touch with me. Although we don’t know each other that well, I appreciate you taking the time out of your busy schedules to email me notifying me of my inheritance. I have to say – about freakin’ time! I have been busting a gut working my arse off for too long… now I can finally tell my boss where he can shove his job… and then I will give him a wedgie ‘cause I have always wanted to do that. I will pull those grand-pa undies so far over his head he would wish that death would come faster. But I digress… Wow!.. $25 million dollars!

I have no idea where to begin on spending my new found wealth… by the way money will not change me… I will not go crazy and buy a house made purely out of gold or pay a scientist to discover a potion for invisibility and then to drink that potion to stand secretly behind Britney Spears and whisper “ Shave your head – you know you wanna”.

Now all you need to do is rush that money right into my account, and if anyone asks it is only payment for a sexual favour involving hot fudge, monkeys and Robert Downey Jr. That sounds plausible…

One Comment to “Open letter to my Nigerian friends…”

  1. avatar erinbonnie says:

    Strange.

    I got an email from them too. Only my inheritance being an actual monkey.

    Where’s my 25 million?!

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