Crazy Mel Gibson is a ladies man

Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard has put the defense force on sooper-dooper  high alert. With reliable news of Mel Gibson moving to Australia, the Australian Government wants Mel Gibson “to stay the hell away from us.”

The Army, Navy, Airforce and any vigilante with a history of violence will be protecting Australia’s borders to stop Mel Gibson from entering Australia.

“We wont be taking any shit from Mel,” said a high ranking Army officer, “and we’ve been ordered to shoot to kill… and I am feeling trigger happy today!”

“Australia’s strict customs laws prevents crap that would pose a danger to Australians,” said a political insider, “the Mel Gibson rant is the crapiest crap there is.”

The Opposition says that Julia Gillard fears Mel Gibson moving to Australia would damage her politically ahead of next months election. “It’s a load of bullshit,” said Tony Abbott Leader of the Opposition, “Mel Gibson is a sweet talker… I would let him date my daughter if he wanted to… for shit sake, he could date all my daughters.”

Mel’s representative, Alan Nierob denies the rumor of Mel Gibson moving to Australia. “Mel is not leaving the States. Mel is totally awesome at fighting his own battles… anyone who heard his rant on Radar Online knows that!” Alan said over the phone while crazy Mel Gibson could be heard in the background screaming, “Hurry up and pack my f*cking suitcases you lazy f*cking bastard!!”

“Wasn’t Mel Gibson’s Australian citizenship torn up after he made Bird on a Wire?” asks an Australian citizen with an Australian accent.

Successful entrepreneur Jay Sampson warned, “I don’t understand why  Mel Gibson is moving to Australia… what have I done to make you do this to me Mel? Don’t make me go over there and show your children all those terrible movies you made here in Australia.”

All Australians are urged to be on the lookout for crazy Mel Gibson and should not approach Mel as he is one crazy mother f*cker.

Music News

Mel Gibson CD debut single “You f*cking b*tch wh*re  c*nt slut asshole fugly shit for brains” has reached Number 1 on music charts in the States. Mel Gibson’s rant is now a hit song that will be turned into an annoying ringtone by Apple for the Apple iPhone by the end of the week.

“This song says what everyone has been thinking but too afraid to say,” says Alex Giadia from Redneck Records, “Mel Gibson moving to Australia would make a great title for his album… that or Mel Gibson – Crazy as Batshit.”

According to Radar Online, JayZ plans to make a rap version of the song.

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