Shit load of money

There are so many how to make money quickly online schemes on the internet, that I think there is room for just one more – mine. I am the next Oprah Winfrey… here to spread a little love today, or is that Ellen Degeneres. My point is I have some valuable tips to make money quickly online and easily. Everyone wants to make money online with little effort… so don’t feel bad. People like Paris Hilton, Justin Bieber, and Tamara whats-her-name who married Kyle Sandilands feel no shame. Don’t forget to add the entire wacky Kardashian clan – these people make a ton of money with no talent or personality. Since your here reading this blog I know you have talent, style, personality and most importantly, a sense of humor.

These money making tips will get you thinking differently to the rest of the human race…

Sell All Your Organs and Non-essential Limbs
Why wait until you die to give away your organs for free when you can auction them off to the highest bidder. Organs are so in right now! Create a listing on internet auction sites like Ebay, Craigslist, Twizla and Organs-R-Us. TIP: When you run out of organs, sell all your non-essential limbs.

Nick who is looking to make money online quickly says, “I really like all my limbs but one arm would do really. Where do I sign up?”

Then you can move on to selling your blood, plasma, hair, sperm, ovum then move onto the next tip to make money online.

Sell Your Soul
Devil never has enough souls and tells me he’s paying top dollar for souls. And if you are one of the first 200 souls he buys, you will get a free set of steak knives.

Sell ALL your Stuff
Self explanatory really. You really don’t need all that stuff… admit it, most of your stuff is just a bunch of crap. Once you’ve sold all your stuff, sell other people’s stuff…

Grow Money Trees
Sure this one may take a little longer but the wait is well worth it. Once your money trees have fully grown, you have an instant cash machine – so you can thank me later! Don’t forgot to give me some of that money…

Go Completely Nuts
Magazines like New Idea, Who Weekly, Woman’s Day, and OK will pay a shit load of money for an exclusive story. Go completely nuts and blame your strange behavior on Lindsay Lohan. Hang two tassels from your nipples and run around the shopping center screaming, “The mother ship has landed!” Either that or sleep with a celebrity. Your choice!

Now just don’t sit there… go and make money online from these awesomely useful and plausible tips. Don’t blame me if you make money online quickly. Feel free to share the love and leave your own ideas here, I’d love to hear them.

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8 Comments to “How To Make Money Quickly Online”

  1. Aloha Witty Sam

    You always make me smile and selling my stuff – hmmm, I like my crap even if no one else does. The ‘stuff’ makes me feel at home.

    Hey have you got a money tree too? Very cool and now I am your new coffee friend to see you daily and pick some leafs too.

    Your perspective is awesome and one to be truly admired….. But wait there’s more 🙂

  2. avatar Crazy Gal says:

    Hi Witty Sam,

    I’ve been looking for an excuse to go completely nuts and to find out that I can make money quickly that way too is a 2 for 1 deal!!! Watch out, I’ll be on the next cover of new idea!

  3. money making is the name of my game,i like to make money online and offline “

  4. money making is really needed if you want to have some financial security for your own life .,,

  5. avatar Witty Sam says:

    I totally agree Mr Aerator. As my witty blog post points out you can make money online and offline as well. I understand the Devil is buying souls offline.

  6. avatar Bevis says:

    Very good article! I will be also likely to publish a blog article in regards to this… thank you

  7. avatar Witty Sam says:

    You reckon Bevis?

    I don’t know how much further one can go in terms of “this” blog article. Pretty crap ideas… but if you can improve on the crap & come up with the shittiest ideas on making money online quickly go right ahead…

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