You gotta watch out for those fat people… I made the mistake of going to my local cake shop to buy a can of coke zero… all I wanted to do was quench my thirst – damn it… How was I to know that fat people are ticking time bombs… it was too late for me but I am telling you all right now… run for your lives… for the love of God run for your lives! The fat person next to me at the cake shop only took one bite out of the chocolate éclair before exploding… I should have realized something was up with the loud ticking of a huge clock around her neck but she said it was her biological clock…

It will be a real worry if you came across an obese person who was wearing a turban… the poster people for a whole new generation of terrorists. No need for any of those expensive and difficult to wear bombs… nothing says terrorists more than a really fat Aussie who was too lazy to strap on a bomb, wears a “Love it or Leave it” t-shirt size XXXXL…. and a stubbie in his hands exclaiming that he has to let one rip!

The Olympic committee are finally thinking with their brains… those Americans must be crushed… literally! Every gold medal will be ours (insert evil maniacal laugh here)! All gold medals will be made out of chocolate wrapped in gold foil. So Australia stand tall cause we are now the fattest nation in the entire world and no-one can take that away from us…

So bring me another packet of Iced Vo-Vo’s….

Read the article here

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