We all need to use humor when updating our Facebook status! Boring status updates that let’s people know you just watched a movie and eaten too much candy that you feel sick, or “dang, I just missed the 7:15pm movie I thought started at 7:10pm… think I will sit here and wait for the 7:20pm”… it’s not very exciting. Writing a witty or laugh out loud funny Facebook status update that comes from the heart  – or the funny bone, is an authentic way of connecting with people.

A funny Facebook status can bring a smile to a friends face – and that’s worth millions! But don’t make every status update be a stand-up routine. Unless you are a comedian… then that would be appropriate. The last thing you want is for your friends to think you are never serious, so it’s a balancing act.

Try these funny Facebook status updates:

1. Let’s laugh all the way to the bank… no one will think we’re crazy… AT ALL!!!

2. …has hired helper monkey’s to update my Facebook status… so don’t blame me for any shit thrown your way

3. The person who said ‘laugh in the face of terror’ was just plain crazy… that sorta attitude is only going to get yourself killed… for the love of God – run for your lives!

4. You may have the keys to the stationary cupboard but I have the keys to the liquor cabinet…

5. …wants to know if the new Australian sport, “Britney Bashing” will be introduced into the next Olympic games?

6. Wanted: Unusual breed of hairdresser that can cut hair to actual specifications

7. …is writing a poem –  what rhymes with Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious?

8. Was thrown out of a shop today… how dare they say “try before you buy”… a toilet is an important purchase, of course I am going to bring a newspaper and my own toilet roll!!

9. If Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus… where do babies come from?

10. Why eat fruit individually when you can put them into a bowl and eat them all at once…  so pass me another box offunny Facebook status Froot Loops.

This list came from my daily experiences, crazy witty ideas that popped into my head, or a witty spin on something that happened in the news. When you change the way you think and use your imagination, something magical occurs. And I believe everyone can create their own funny Facebook status, so go and spread the love!

Make everyday a witty day,


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18 Comments to “Top 10 Funny Facebook Status”

  1. avatar Ness says:

    Gave me a good chuckle, thanks for that. Have you considered a vote for the funniest etc? I like number 2 – as a funny status.

  2. avatar Abby says:

    I liked the toilet one, its hilarious 🙂

  3. avatar admin says:

    Thanks Abby! And you know I truly believe in the philosophy of “try before you buy”. Why should it only apply to cars? I am glad I gave you a laugh… this is my life’s purpose – well, not you personally… that would be creepy and one bizarre life purpose… I am talking about the entire world. Come back & visit anytime – and I appreciate your feedback and comments.

  4. avatar Nanners says:

    Yes, I have ties for my funniest. “If you put fish in yogurt, it would be ALIVE!!!! Or at least it would move!!” and, “BURNING CRABCAKES OF DOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

  5. avatar Witty Sam says:

    That’s the ticket Nanners!! Can I call you Nan? 😉 I love your “burning crabcakes of doom”

  6. avatar aleena robator says:

    according to my research, touching the hairy balls of a stupid jew monkey is good for your health…

  7. avatar aleena robator says:

    granny panties will come back in style someday! YoU’LL sEe!!! YOU’LL ALL SEE!!!!!!!!!! MWAAHAAHAA >=^]

  8. avatar Witty Sam says:

    Great additions to the Funny Facebook Status updates… love your style!! Very funny!
    Thanks Aleena. 🙂

  9. avatar mike says:

    a few of them were funny, but i didn’t really get the rest

  10. avatar Witty Sam says:

    Thanks Mike. I’m glad a few of my facebook status updates gave you laugh. Use your daily experiences to create your own top 10 status updates for facebook.

  11. avatar Tom says:

    They were creative but not very good.

  12. avatar Witty Sam says:

    It’s all about creativity Tom. You know… being creative with your Facebook Status updates. Better than “I just scratched my arse”

  13. avatar Jaime says:

    The toilet one was by far the best one there!!!

  14. avatar Witty Sam says:

    Thanks Jaime! I agree – the toilet one was the best one!! What is it about toilet jokes that makes them so awesome?

  15. avatar Cathrine Lorraine says:

    I wonder how many of you are pooing while reading this….

  16. avatar Justin says:

    Am I the only one willing to admit that those were actually lame? I found no humor.

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