Apple iPad launch in Sydney causes minor pandemonium.
Thousands queued in Sydney this morning to get hold of the Apple iPad that’s been launched in Australia two months behind the rest of the developed world. The Apple iPad was given a standing ovation by the hundreds of nerds who stood in line for more than 30 hours. Some were so delirious that they had no idea what they were applauding.
“I thought I was at a Lady Gaga concert until I remembered I was listening to my iPod,”said bleary eyed Felicity Chance, “someone please knock me out with an iPad… I need to sleep.”
David Gadget, self-confessed asshole, already had an Apple iPad when it was launched in the States two months ago, gave everyone the shits with his smugness. “I didn’t want to wait in line like a sucker. Pfffft! I flew to America when the Apple iPad was released… it just makes sense…. dumb-asses.” David’s arrogant smug smile led to a near panic with most people ready to smack David in the head but didn’t want to lose their place in the line.
Behind closed doors Apple staff were prepared for the onslaught of crazy customers. According to an insider, staff had been in military training with the CIA for the past 6 months.
Penelope Kline was the first to buy the iPad when Apple finally opened their doors after 3 hours of continuous taunting from Apple staff waving the iPad in front of the glass windows. “Wow I can’t believe I finally have one… I have no idea what it does or how I am going to make this relevant to my life, but I just knew I needed to get one,” Penelope said.
Father Pedro from a local Sydney church plans to write his own 10 commandments. “Just call me Moses!”
Sally Jester from the Central Coast walked away with two iPad’s. “I’m going home right now and placing them both on my eyes to transmit intelligence via osmosis.”
Apple plans to launch an ever better iPad with slightly better functions, that will make the Apple iPad everyone just bought seem like a piece of crap.